


So You Can Begin To Heal

by singleshot



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, LITERALLY, Nicholas Scratch gets a hug, Nicholas Scratch needs a hug, Please Be careful, Reader-Insert, Some spoilers for Part 3, The rape is described but not too much detail, but he gets taken care of, he went through Hell, nick's hurting, no beta we die like men, sorry I just really needed nick to be comforted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:07:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22783015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/singleshot/pseuds/singleshot
Summary: It's you who knows Nicholas Scratch in a way no one else does, and it's you who knows how to help him when it feels like no one wants to understand.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	So You Can Begin To Heal

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first posted fic- mainly because AO3 deletes drafts after a month and I don't want to lose this. Also not the biggest fan of how Nick's trauma was dealt with. Not excusing his actions, just saying I wish Sabrina had given him a little more focus, although she did have a lot going on.
> 
> Anyway, this is a reader insert, sort of fix-it. Nick might come off a bit OOC, but hey, he's hurting.

You've known Nicholas Scratch for quite a long time. You'd met before the both of you had started at the Academy. Nick had been somewhat closed off, which you understood, considering what he'd been through. You became fast friends over your love of Conjuring, and it wasn't long before you were as close as people could be, trusting each other with everything. Because of this, it's you who saved him from a deep depression when the death of his family hit him hard. It's you that knows the signs of when he's about to break; when he's so close to the edge he needs a hand to pull him back. 

You watch as Nick gets infatuated with the new girl, Sabrina Spellman. Unlike most, you're content to let him chase after her, to slip into the shadows, letting Nick leave you behind, if inadvertently. The feeling of being forgotten doesn't bother you as much as it should- because Nick seems happy and that's what you've always wanted for him. 

Then Nick sacrifices himself to save everyone, takes the Dark Lord inside his body, and disappears into Hell in the hands of Lilith. It hurts- not only because you miss him, but because you know he's suffering. This time, though, this time you can't do anything about it, and it rips into the wound in your heart deeper each time you remember. 

When Sabrina declares her intention to save him, you insist on tagging along. You can't stand to be standing around helpless whilst they try to save Nick- you need to be there. 

Getting there proves to be a challenge, and it gets harder still as you all try to make it to the Palace of Hell. You meet a handsome stranger who tells you to follow the red blood road. It's a difficult route, one riddled with sights designed to shake you all to your core, but the thought of rescuing Nick pushes you all forward. All of that fades into the distance when the five of you step into the throne room, and your vision tunnels when you see Nick. Vaguely, you're aware that Sabrina is engaged in a shouting match with Lilith, but all you can focus on is Nicholas.

He has a ridiculous ruffled collar around his neck; he's in shackles, lying across the steps leading up to the throne; he's clad only in loose pants; but what truly chills you down to your bones is the blank look in his eyes. You can't stop yourself from walking calmly over to him. The room silences around you as you kneel down next to him. He looks up at you, and you place a hand on his cheek. He's sweaty, but his skin is clammy.

Sabrina's the one who gets the privilege of entering Nick's mind when he makes eye contact with her. You don't know what she sees, but you are privy to the Heaven that breaks loose later. Thankfully, you're all allowed to take Nick home, but the new challenge is getting Lucifer out of Nick's body. 

Ambrose becomes your favorite Spellman when he brings Father Blackwood back to serve as a new host for the Dark Lord. The soul transference is a success, but something is off. You watch as Nick starts to come apart at the seams, and it all comes to a head when you hear Nick snapping at Sabrina about no longer feeling like himself during the Hare Moon, but you keep your distance. Ambrose cements that status with you when he figures out that Nick's suffering from Lucifer's residue after their failed attempt to detox him.

When Nick's clean of the residue, as well as the several types of drugs he'd taken and the alcohol he'd drowned himself in, you wonder if he remembers you exist. His near death experience had been discussed at length by your fellow students, and when you'd learned of the drugs, you understood immediately. You knew why Nick took them, and again you wondered if you should approach him. You get your answer to both questions one day when you return to your room at the Academy to find Nick perched on the edge of your bed. His head's in his hands, but he doesn't even look to be breathing. Cautiously, after setting your bag down, you approach him. "Nicholas?" you say quietly, but there isn't even a change in breath as a response. 

Ever so slowly, you slide two fingers beneath his chin and gently tip his head up to look at you, but his eyes remain unfocused, staring at a point on your shoulder. Sighing, you're secretly glad that you know Nick well, because you understand what he needs. "I'll be right back," and there's still no response as you retreat to the bathroom to run a hot bath.

You help him up, lead him to the bathroom, and divest him of his sweater. You tug his undershirt over his head. Sitting him down on the toilet top, you unlace his shoes and remove them along with his socks. Nick flinches when your fingertips reach the waistband of his pants, and your hands freeze. You whisper, "I promise I won't hurt you," and the slightest amount of tension runs out of his shoulders, so you decide it's safe to continue.

He's shaking now, but you manage to get him up and into the bath, where he sits, wrapping his arms around his knees. You slip your hand behind his neck, other hand moving to tip his head back in order to soak his hair. You squeeze shampoo into your palm, lather it some, and gently begin to wash his hair. More tension slips from his shoulders as he relaxes slightly under your ministrations. You tilt his head back once more to wash the soap from his hair before you reach for a sponge. You nearly jump out of your skin when Nick begins to talk in a quiet, hoarse voice, but you continue to run the sponge across his skin as he talks. You know you're the first person Nick's opening up to, and only because he trusts you.

Nick tells you of how he wrestled the Dark Lord within his mind. He details how Lilith stripped him of his clothes, chained him up at the foot of her throne, and he shivers violently when he forces out that he feels debased and dirty. He continues about how he was exhausted, of how it hurt and burned and nearly broke him. You react only by helping him out of the bath, as the water's cooled on his skin now. Wrapping him up in a bathrobe, you feel him shake, your hands resting lightly on his hips to hold him up. He's seemingly unable to look up from where his eyes are glued to the floor. He's taking shuddering breaths now, and then he says something that makes your blood run cold, "He... He raped me." The admission causes him to choke on whatever his next words were going to be, and he stops speaking.

Your hands pause mid-motion, and you try to school your expression so as not to betray the anger and upset bubbling in your stomach. You look into his eyes, and there's so much fear and hurt, looking like they threaten to overwhelm him. You worry about how he might react to a response, so you don't respond just yet. Instead, you tug him out of the bathroom, towards your bed. You sit him down, facing away from the headboard, hand him a pair of boxers from the last time he slept over. The sound of the bedsheets moving ceases, letting you know when he's done changing. You then rifle through your drawer for the biggest sweater you own, and you look to him for permission before removing the bathrobe in order to slip the sweater over his damp hair to envelop him.

It's when you sit in front of him and cup his face in your hands that he breaks again, and he starts to talk once more. He takes a fortifying breath as he tells you of how the Dark Lord would pin him down, on his back, and barely even prepped him before he would lift Nick's leg over his shoulder and use his body. He shakes when he continues, how the Dark Lord fucked into him as Nick cried, begged for him to stop, and how it kept happening. How he slowly but surely lost the will to fight back, let the Dark Lord wrestle him into submission and fuck him any way he pleased, and how he wished endlessly for everything to just stop. A choked sound escapes Nick, "It h-hurt, it hurt so much," before he collapses into your arms and sobs.

He cries brokenly, his chest heaving, his tears hot, soaking into the fabric covering your shoulder. You hold him, not faltering, wanting so desperately to shield him and take away his pain, but this was the best you could do. He sounds terrified, hands fisted tightly in the back of your sweater. He cries himself to sleep there in your arms; yet you manage to maneuver the both of you until you're both lying down, side by side. Unsure if you're allowed to hold him and unwilling to touch him without his consent, you tug the blanket up over his chest before you fall into a restless sleep.

Nick wakes up, a scream caught in his throat, a few hours later, face tear streaked. He'd been crying in his sleep, his breathing harsh and uneven. You're awake in a heartbeat, repeating over and over that you're there, letting his fingers roam your shoulders, your steady voice helping to calm him. "You're here," like he's afraid you would have left, but you wouldn't dream of such a thing. You cup his jaw, running your thumb over his cheekbone. "I'm here," you reassure him, "and I'm not going anywhere." He mumbles something tiredly, and you barely manage to catch what he's said. This side of Nick isn't exactly new to you, but the reasons behind it are- he asks, "C-Can you... h-hold me?" You give what you hope is a reassuring smile as he leans into your palm. "Whatever you'd like, Nick."

You lay down, pulling him with you, and he goes willingly, pliant in your hands. You pull him into your arms but leave them loose enough for him to decide how he wants to be held. He moves, flipping over, then presses his back to your front. "Tighter, please?" You do as he asks, your arms securely around his chest and waist. Pressing a light kiss to the back of his neck, you whisper, "You're safe, Nick."

Judging by how Nick relaxes deeper into your embrace, you know it was the right thing to say. He falls asleep again, this time into a deeper sleep, and you promise yourself that you'll be there for him, no matter what hardships may come. 

So that maybe, just maybe, with your help, he could begin to heal.


End file.
